Guys, you have all been there. You’re enjoying yourself with a great lady that you just met. She’s awesome, everything about her is what you’ve been looking for (with the minor flaws, let’s face it, we’re not in a dream world, no one is perfect) and you can definitely see things going somewhere. However, suddenly with all the good stuff that has been happening, and all the sweetness you have been consuming from the cookie jar, things suddenly start turning in the wrong direction.
Too much a good thing eventually turns into something bad! And eventually, being oblivious to what is going around or what bad things you have been doing, you get caught with your hands in the cookie jar.
Here are five reasons why some men are going to get their hands caught in the cookie jar:
1) They like spending too much time with her. Obviously if you’re enamored with someone or you enjoy someone’s company, being around them and going out to do social activities is on your agenda. However, sometimes it can get too much and the guy ends up smothering her. There needs to be balance. Let her miss you. If she recognizes value in you she’ll always come back. Spending too much time with someone is often an indication of the person not having a life and having their own interests and hobbies. Otherwise you wouldn’t have so much time on your hands to spend with her.
2) Their flirting becomes obnoxious. Every girl loves a good flirt. However, there is a fine line between being flirtatious and becoming obnoxious. I have witnessed many times when guys try to flirt with a girl or say something witty and they completely fail and end up turning her off and offending her. Men should have to pay fines when this happens. I bet this would be a huge revenue generator for Provincial/State Governments.
3) They spend too much money on her and give her everything she wants. If you spend all your money on her, you are setting expectations that whatever she wants, she gets. With this expectation, the moment she doesn’t get what she wants, she will be like, “What the hell? Based on our track record you have been giving me everything I have asked for. If you’re changing the rules now, I want a contract re-negotiation”. I.e. It’s over. You’re basically financing a project that is going over budget. When you did a NPV and ROI of this undertaking, you didn’t factor in fierce market conditions and increasing operational expense. A true test is if she is willing to share and spend money on you too. Keep in mind that it’s not the amount of money that a person spends but the value that is created by their actions.
4) They are too emotional. It’s a well known fact that women like to share their emotions with their significant others and be able to connect with them on a higher level. However, they don’t want a man that cries about everything and breaks into a sweat or diffuses watery discharge from his eyes every time shit hits the fan. Keep your personal problems to yourself and don’t let the negative energy within you impact her. Otherwise, you look like a weakling that needs his diaper changed every 2 hours. `
5) They talk too much. Have great conversations with women are a necessity. It keeps them interested in areas that you both have in common, it usually leads to both people getting to know each other better, and it usually ends up as a time just to relax and unwind. The problem exists when the guy talks too much and over powers her to the point that she gets irritated. Every time she tries to make a point or give her opinion he cuts her off or shuts her idea down. She gets to the point of “You annoy me, just shut up!”. Girls, I know you’re picturing someone in your head right now that falls into this category!
Now that we have gone through five situations where men can have a habit of getting their hands stuck in the cookie jar, hopefully they’ll learn this invaluable lesson:
Everything in moderation and watch your calorie intake!
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Wow. Thanks. If all men took your advice, the chances of me being in a relationship would increase exponentially. Number 3 is especially interesting because I think the steriotype is that women LOVE having money spent on them. This *might* be true but only to a certain extent. I, for one, become uncomfortable if TOO much money is being spent on me. It makes me feel like the man in trying to make up for something (like cheating) or that he thinks he can “buy” me. Also, at a certain point in the dating process I am going to start thinking about the way a man spends money because I want to know that he is financially responsible. Chances are I have a good idea of what his income, mortgage and car payment are already so I’m delighted that he is generous. But is he responsible with his money? Is he putting away savings on a regular basis? Or is he charging up our concert tickets/plane tickets on his credit card? That might be OK every once in a while for a very special occasion but not every weekend.
Regarding point #3. I think some males get things messed up. They think by spending money on her it will somehow increase their chances of moving to a different level or getting the girl to like them. In fact, they are compensating for something they don’t have and hope that money and things solve their problems. Some of the best things to do in life are free.
Also, some men use money to create attraction versus increasing attraction. Why would you spend money to create attraction? That shouldn’t cost anyone anything!
The Relationship Guy